Littlest One

My precious little boy, who brings me pain and joy. Who shares with me a place. A different sort of space. With childish wonder he takes life in. And in his impish little grin I see the insect on the ground, I watch the T.V. with no sound. I talk to him with my hands, he looks up and he understands. He is my son, you see. His name is Jeremy. He's not like you and me. For him the wind blows quietly. Waves crash in silence on the shore. There is no slamming of the door. The popcorn pops soundlessly. You see, he's not like you and me. He is my son, my Jeremy. And he is deaf. Paulina Bishop--1986

Jeremy was born in Nov. 1983 in Ventura, Calif. His was a normal birth and he was 10 pounds, lusty and healthy. He was always a happy baby and was doted on my his parents and family friends. He grew up happily, though I noticed he never started talking. At 2 years old I took him to his pediatrician and asked him why Jeremy didn't talk. He said I was "too good of a mother", I basically fulfilled his needs so well that he didn't need to talk. The doctor told me to stop giving him things or answering him and this would force him to speak. Well, I tried it for 2 weeks but all it did was make Jeremy a very frustrated and angry toddler and me a frazzled mother. His other developement was fine, he seemed smart and alert, so I figured he'd talk when he was ready.

One day when Jeremy was 2 1/2, I was out walking with my friend. I was holding Jeremy's hand when suddenly the kids across the street kicked their ball into the road. Jeremy broke free and dashed into the road after it. I screamed at him terrified but he didn't react until a car came to a screeching halt just a few feet away from him. Then he looked up in surprise. I got to him and scooped him into my arms scolding and crying. I had to pacify the motorist who was very frightened and then I took Jeremy back to the sidewalk. I started to scold him when suddenly my friend grabbed my arm and said "Paulina, can he hear you? I don't think he heard you!" I said "What? Of course he heard me!" but then she grabbed me again and said "I don't think he can hear you!" Suddenly I stopped and everything clicked in my head. His never speaking, not coming when I called him, his "ignoring" me when I was out of his line of vision--it all started to make terrible sense. Shaking, we went back to my friend's house and soon had Jeremy playing with toys on the living room floor. When he was fully engrossed we snuck up behind him and crashed pans together, hit a tuning fork near his ear, yelled his name, clapped our hands...and then I knew. When I got home, I told his dad what had happened and immediately made another appointment with his pediatrician. When I saw the doctor, I told him everything again and he scheduled Jeremy for a hearing test. He was tested and tested and they finally told us he was profoundly deaf. His dad and I asked what should we do as we knew nothing about deafness. They said they would put us in touch with the Speech and Hearing Center and they could help us.

I came home and cried for 3 days. This was the first thing in my life I couldn't fix or change and the finality of it had me reeling. After the 3rd day, I wiped my tears and went to the library to see if they had any sign language books. They only had 4 little childrens books, but it was a start. I began learning the signs for basic things like food, potty, mommy, daddy, etc and then began to teach Jeremy. When his dad got home from work, we learned together. Jeremy caught on very quickly and I started reading everything I could about deafness. The Hearing and Speech Center was wonderful about getting us materials to learn more about raising a deaf child.

After many adjustments, we learned to be extra viligant about watching out for him and our signing vocabulary grew. He started school at 4 years old in a mainstream public school. He was mainstreamed (in a class with hearing children with an interpeter for him) until the 3rd grade. Then against my will, we enrolled him in The Ohio School for the Deaf in Columbus, OH. I thought he was too young to go, but he loved it and thrived! He graduated from OSD in 2002, and has grown into a fine, gentle young man. He has taught me patience and understanding for all people with disabilities, and is my pride and joy. I love his deaf friends and they teach me new things all the time. If someone had told me I was going to have a deaf child, I would've been incredulous, but it happened and I think my life has been enriched by it. I love Jeremy with all my heart and I will enjoy watching him become a husband and father someday. The poem was written from my deep feelings of love for him soon after we found out he was deaf.

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