July 21, 2006 - depression sucks

Hi kittens. I hope you are all well. I could be better, but I'm hanging in there. My doc says I'm suffering from PTSD and anxiety from the 2 years of Jeremy's ordeal. All I know is I'm not my usual cheery self. This too shall pass, it always does. I haven't been online much this month, my heart just isn't in it. I'm back to watching my Lord of The Rings EEs as the films make me feel somewhat better. Escapism is my goal.

It's been beastly hot and humid here in Ohio, I really dislike summer. I'm patiently waiting for fall so I can start taking walks again. I wish I could go swimming, but there isn't anywhere close to go to. Ah well.

I'd really like to go the Great Lakes Medieval Faire next month, I went last year and had so much fun. On Aug. 12 & 13 there is an "Italian Carnivale and Masquerade" - I adore masquerades! I even have a costume but I don't know anyone who likes this kind of thing and would go with me. This weekend is "Pirates, Vikings & Warlords", that sounds like fun but I'm broke. I have 3 weeks to try and find a way to go to the faire so I'm going to try and make plans. I need a mini vacation!

TGIF! I hope you all have a great weekend. I'm just going to try and stay cool. Peace.

~Mel pondered at 12:37 am Friday

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July 11, 2006 - this n that

Hello kittens. I didn't realize I hadn't blogged in a week. I've been playing video games with Jeremy and playing all my Spyro the Dragon and Medievil games. It's been fun unless I get stuck which is often. I'm a lousy flier and jumper even though I love to play. My hand/eye coordination is not what it used to be. Good thing I have my son to help me get unstuck. :P

I guess the tracker will be installed this month. Yay. I'm so not looking forward to it, but oh well. Things have calmed down in the neighborhood, my neighbor even invited Jeremy and I to sit on her porch whenever we feel like it. Humph. This is the same neighbor who told my landlady to make us move. I should be nice and hope she had a change of heart after I poured my heart out to her. I can only hope. Jeremy and I tend to stay indoors with the air conditioner, keeping a low profile. It's safer that way for everyone concerned.

Not much else to say, same old same old. Have a good week and hug your loved ones everyday. Toodles!

~Mel pondered at 10:22 pm Tuesday

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July 03, 2006 -

Oy vey, what a crazy couple of days. I had long talks with my landlady and my nosy neighbor downstairs. They were calling their friends in this small rural town and gossiping and saying a "predator" had moved into the neighborhood. Dear God, give me strength. My son is NOT a predator. My landlady told me that my neighbor wanted her to make us move. Oh dear lord, I've read about this stuff for years in my morbid fascination with true crime. I've read of child molesters being run out of town. My son is not a child molester, that is what they were spreading around. I'm surprised I haven't gone mad. Both women asked me why didn't I tell them? Because it's my business and Jeremy has been mortified and shamed enough, I didn't want to tell them for this very reason. I knew the town would know. I'm sure the police know. Oh my god, is this going to be a problem? He doesn't know about it, I haven't told him. He's been in such a good mood I just couldn't spoil it. I don't want him to feel the prejudice until he has too.

He had a good week. The prison mailed us his stuff, he got his video relay and he got a truck. He's almost has a bounce in his step. He hasn't even been online as he is talking to his friends with his tv. He hasn't gone anywhere, he's been staying home with me, he's no wild child/rebel. We are following all the rules and I told those women today, please just leave us alone and we'll leave you alone. If the neighbors are going to gossip, then at least now they have the correct story from the source. I even told them if anyone is uncomfortable and wants to talk to his probation officer, go right ahead. The lady next door was freaking out because she has an 11 year old daughter. Dear God. I told my neighbor to tell her he is not a child molester, it's not like that. I thought I was thick skinned, but I am not...

Have a good week.

~Mel pondered at 12:55 am Monday

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July 01, 2006 -oy vey

Hello. I'm a little flustered as my landlady just enformed me that she and my downstairs neighbor found out about Jeremy through the internet and now I have a lot of explaining to do. Frak.

I had a nice birthday with my family. More good news! Yesterday we bought a truck for Jeremy. It's a little 1987 blue Ford pick-up that we got for $500. He can't drive it until next month when we get insurance and tags, but he will have it for job hunting by August. He still isn't allowed to leave the county and he can only go somewhere for now if I am with him, but it will give us both more independence and the ability to get our own shopping and errands done. I'm very pleased. Now if my landlady will not make us move, things will be okay. Yikes.

Have a great 4th of July and thanks loads for the birthday ecards and wishes. You guys rock! See ya. xoxo

~Mel pondered at 5:47 pm Saturday

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June 29, 2006 -happy birthday to me

Greetings! Today is my special day and I'll be spending it with my son and the Puppy Couple. :P

Jeremy got the coolest thing yesterday. A deaf man came over and installed video relay for Jeremy on his tv using my pc modem and a router. Now Jeremy can talk to other deaf people using sign language instead of typing. It's a video camera connected to a network and anyone who is deaf is entitled to it for free! It uses my cell phone number but is seperate from my phone. He can call any number in the U.S for free and there is no extra charge, I just pay my cable bill as usual. He can see his friends and talk to them on his tv, isn't that neat? I'm so happy for him. We need to get a phone flasher at Radio Shack which is simply a light that attaches to the back of the camera console and flashes when someone calls him. It has caller id and records missed calls too. I think it's the coolest thing since sliced bread. :P He calls a special number and he gets a signing hearing operator or he calls his friends directly. I am so glad there is technology like this for the deaf. It will make his life a little less isolated and he can keep in touch with his friends anytime he wants! Doesn't take much to make me happy...

I hope everyone is well and has a good day. At my age a birthday is not a big deal, but it is a special day. I am not revealing my age though, as a lady never tells her true age. *lol* I just dated myself with that remark! Anyway, my arm is better and so am I. If anything neat happens I'll blog about it later. Toodles! xoxo

~Mel pondered at 12:01 am Thursday

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