May 27, 2006 I am at peace

He's home. I feel at peace for the first time in over a year. He's sleeping now as he talked all night to me and his friends online and I keep peeking at him to reassure myself he's really here. :P

The hearing was short and he was released at around 11:30. The girls and I took him to rent games and movies, then we bought him Mountain Dew and his favorite pizza from Papa John's. He hasn't had those foods for over a year. He talked non stop to me until about 2 am, then I begged off as I hadn't slept for 38 hours and was exhausted. It's so good to have Jeremy home!

This morning I walked to the library and it was glorious. Songbirds and doves are in the many trees singing their hearts out. I took sheer delight in a little squirrel as he foraged in the grass about 10 feet from me. I'm going to take another walk after I finish this and see if Jeremy wants to come too. He just woke up and started talking to me again. =)

Have a lovely Memorial Day weekend, I know I will! xoxo

~Mel pondered at 2:41 pm Saturday

|

May 25, 2006 hurry up and wait

I am a nervous wreck! In a good way. I have cleaned my apt from top to bottom, read 2 books in 2 days and gone for a walk so lengthly my back was hurting by the time I got home. Please keep Jeremy and I in your thoughts tomorrow, it's going to be an extraordinary day no matter how it turns out. If he truly does come home I won't be online much as we have much to discuss and I know he will want to get online himself. I'm dreading him seeing the awful comments on his LJ page, there are people who really hate him and I must help him deal with that. I haven't seen him in over a year and I know this has changed him, it would be denial to think it hasn't. 8 am cannot come fast enough! Have a good night kittens. oxox

~Mel pondered at 6:37 pm Thursday

|

May 23, 2006 oh my!

Jeremy's hearing has been moved to 8 am Friday instead of 11:30! That means he will be home sooner! I am so excited, I doubt I will sleep at all Thursday night. 2 more days! *does happy dance*

~Mel pondered at 8:27 pm Tuesday

|

May 21, 2006 this and that

Hello kittens. I hope you all had a pleasant weekend. I've been cleaning the living room and making it into Jeremy's room. I put up a mini blind and tidied everything up. Friday is only 5 days away! I've been so excited I'm only getting about 4 hours sleep a night. No matter, I guess I should just accept that I don't sleep much and get on with it. :P

Some friends came over, a couple I hadn't seen in a little over 2 years. They found me through the Puppy Couple whom they saw in Movie Gallery and they told them where I live now. It was so nice to see them again! Tiffany is so cute and sweet and Brian is very droll and nice. I found out they live around the corner from me, about 3 blocks away. It's nice to have some friends within walking distance. Since I'm taking walks 3 times a week (gotta get the excess winter poundage off), I'll be able to stop and visit whenever I want. =) Doesn't take much to make me happy.

It still is chilly here, but my walks have been wonderful. Today was the first sunny day we've had in about 2 weeks. NE Ohio tends to be overcast a lot, that's why the Ravenna Arsenal is here, our cloud cover makes it difficult to see from airplanes, or at least that was the prevailing thought during WWII. All the trees are in leaf and daffodils are blooming everywhere, spring is here! It's amazing to me that's it's almost June already. Where does time go?

Have a good week kittens and stay safe. 5 more days and Jeremy comes home. Wo0t!

~Mel pondered at 6:35 pm Sunday

|

May 17, 2006 more good news!

Jeremy's hearing is next Friday the 26th at 11:30 am. They are pretty sure he will be released that day. He will be bringing everything with him and if he's not released Friday he will not be returning to prison. The latest it will be would be the middle of the following week, he would be waiting in Youngtown jail until then. The attorney's secretary is pretty sure he will be released. She said the court wouldn't pay and waste the time to bring him here to just say no again. Isn't that wonderful?!?

I literally danced around my apt after finding out this afternoon. I do like that I don't have to drive 8 hours round trip to get him. He must be so thrilled and relieved, I sure am!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of you who have been supportive and encouraging even when I wasn't. I never forget a kindness. Thanks to those who helped with bail and sent me emails and ecards and online hugs...you guys are the best! I'm too excited to type properly, I keep having to erase and start over. lol I just had to share the latest good news. Of course, phase 2 is just starting, I will be very active in whatever programs/counseling they say he must have. Even if it isn't mandated, I'm going to insist he gets some kind of counseling and I'll go too if need be. I will have to strike a balance and not smother him but I must make sure he follows every single rule so he doesn't have to go back to that horrible place. He will be on probation for 3 years, that's all I know right now. I have much to learn for both our sakes.

I must go as I need to make arrangements to be at his hearing as I don't have a car. The Puppy Couple are coming to the rescue and will take me but we need to iron out the details. Oh my, from the depths of despair to outright giddiness. heh Have a good end of the week! xoxo

~Mel pondered at 8:10 pm Wednesday

|

May 12, 2006 hope at last!

Jeremy should be able to come home in a few weeks! His lawyer's office called yesterday and told me his attorney talked to the judge to see why his release was denied. The judge had forgotten who Jeremy was and the note he wrote to himself. Apparently the judge never really gets to see the file when it comes across his desk, he just looks at the charge and sentence, then decides. He told Jeremy's attorney to file again which they did yesterday, and he would grant it this time. The process is all we are waiting on. I'm so excited! My heart fluttered when his secretary told me. I wrote Jeremy last night and mailed it this morning. Oh my, can I get my hopes up?! Omg, I'm trying not to be delirious with joy...I remember how our dealings with the legal system have been and I remember all the promises made and not kept, but finally a ray of sunshine in this whole ordeal! Omg, I'm so happy! Yippee!!

I've been away from the internet all week, I just couldn't deal with anything. I've read all the Harry Potter books again and I've been watching films, all from the library. I'm back now and will keep you posted on what happens. I can't wait to have my precious son home! =) He has a lot of rules, so I'll have a lot of explaining to do, but I don't care. We will cross every t and dot every i and make sure he follows every rule and requirement. It would be nice if they had interpeters to explain things, but I'm not counting on anyone else. Omg, this might soon be over. As worthless as I thought his attorney was before, he's redeemed himself now by talking to the judge.

I found an article, please read it, this case is very similar to Jeremy's.

COMMENTARY: Sex, lies and prison

"One minute a junior at Florida State University majoring in business/computer systems, the next a prison inmate labeled a sex offender."

I have much to catch up on online, so I'm off here. I hope you all have a safe and good weekend! xoxo

~Mel pondered at 7:00 pm Friday

|

May 02, 2006 ------

The judge just denied his release again. He promised me, he even wrote a note to himself in front of me in the court room that he would not oppose Jeremy's release at 6 months. And now it's been a year and denied again, with no reason given. For something Jeremy didn't do. This is going to sound awful, but if he had done it, then I would feel he deserved to be in prison and it would hurt, but in a different way. Oh hell, it would probably hurt just as bad. Do I make sense?
I just found out this morning his release was denied and I'm broken, so broken. He's going to write me when he finds out...what do I say?

I can't do this. I'm not strong enough to do this. Omg, I think I have reached the proverbial end of my rope. Not suicidal, just totally in the depths of despair. I can't breath, my chest hurts so badly. I've had to double the ativan I usually take because I'm having like 4 panic attacks a day. I'm a mess. I'm broken. Help. I want my son back.

Jeremy's story (start from the bottom). He is my deaf son. My sunshine. My heartache.

Watching:



~Mel pondered at 10:48 pm Tuesday

|